Thursday, February 10, 2005

Yesterday's post is gone

I had a post here yesterday that I withdrew after a few hours. It asked readers to post their five greatest qualities publicly. The challenge there was that people are often very confident about their qualities in private and in their own head. However, when it comes to stepping up on a pedestal and addressing a crowd the very same qualities can sound phony, braggist and in a sense like a Miss Universe contest where truly intellectually-challenged women stand in front of a similar crowd and announce their positive traits.

I have always struggled with that. I simply undermine myself when someone asks me what I do. I know I do a whole lot and am an important contributor in my company and I hold a whole lot of credibility. But if someone asks me what I do, I give a stupid dumb answer like, "I'm a menial programmer"...and that's so untrue it frustrates me the moment after I answer. I'm definitely not a menial programmer. I started out that way four years ago. Today, I barely write any code whatsoever. I have moved on to be a Technical Lead and coordinate internal or customer projects with teams of three or four people at a time. See, that's so far away from being a menial programmer yet I can't get myself to say that to someone because to me it sounds like I'm bragging. Am I ???? Can you state your qualities publicly like that ??

And that's why I withdrew the post - precisely because of this struggle that I go through. I read my own post - felt like I was bragging and sounding foolish - and withdrew the post. I have GOT to overcome this stupidity !!


Blogger Archana said...

What can I say except 'you know yourself better than anyone else'.....why care what people think when you know that you are not bragging? why care what someone thinks when you are expressing what you are?

10:26 AM  

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