Thursday, March 31, 2005

A series of unfortunate events

Here's a true life account of what happened when me and Noddy visited Fazoli's last night to pick up some dinner.

Scene from parking lot to entry door:
Noddy and I walk towards the door. So does an elderly and (for some reason) very dressed up couple. I open the door to let them nice of me. The gentleman looks at Noddy and wants her to go. Noddy doesn't go. The lady with the gentleman tries to get in but then Noddy also tried to get in too. They both stop. All four of us are still outside. Eventually, the gentleman decides to get in and his lady follows. Then Noddy and I follow. At the second door, the gentleman opens the door and Noddy and I simply walk in. No more ifs and buts.

Scene at the ordering counter:
Order-guy with wierd looking hat and sorry face: May I help you?
Noddy and I continue to stare at the menu boards behind him. He continues to stare extremely expectantly at us. Unpleasant silence follows. The elderly couple who met us at the door stare at the menu boards too. Everyone is staring somewhere. No one is talking. Order-guy eventually loses interest. Noddy now knows what she wants. She ends the order-guy's misery by going forward and ordering her meal.
Order-guy: Your total is $5.04
Me: Here's 5 bucks and....(furious digging into back pocket)... here's 5 cents.
Noddy: Here's my credit card
Order-guy: (Thinking) Am I on the Jamie Kennedy Xperiment show?
Me: Cash is fine. Here you go.
Order-guy: Is this for here or to go?
Me: For here.
Noddy: To go.
Me: To go?
Noddy: For here?
Order-guy: (Thinking) Make up your stupid mind, people.
Elderly couple: (Thinking) Who lets immigrants through this door. We need a sign outside.
Order-guy: Well if it's to-go, then your order total is $4.65
Me: (Thinking)...moron, your questions were backwards then.
Me: Okay well I'll take my 5 cents back. Here's $5.
Order-guy: Here's your change....35 cents.
Me and Noddy reach out our hands quickly and together to grab those precious gems
Order-guy: Geez people it's only 35 cents...back off a little bit please. One person gets it.
......standing in line waiting for order.....packing lady furiously packing orders....finishes packing something...
Noddy: (Picks it up) ... Thank you.... (Starts to walk away)
Packing-lady: Ma'am that's not yours.
Noddy: (Embarrassed) ... Oh you go.
Other lady standing next to Noddy picks it up because it was really HER order. She starts to walk away but I'm in the way. So I back up a little bit .....only to step real hard on the foot of the man behind me..
Unfortunate-man: Whoa!!
Me: Sorry .. real sorry.
Unfortunate-big-man: That's okay (you moron).
Noddy finally gets her order. We make a quick disappearance in our getaway car before anyone notices us anymore.


Anonymous Anonymous said...

ROFL :))

I liked the 'thinking' dialogs!

11:02 AM  
Blogger Will said...

It's about then that you wish for "do overs". It seems kind of fortunate you ended up getting it to go. I hate it when I've had times like that and then I sit there not looking at the people who are not looking at me---all thinking how uncomfortable we are to be around the people we aren't looking at.

4:09 PM  
Blogger jody said...

lol Welcome to my life. Dumb stuff like that happens to me all the time.

4:11 PM  
Blogger Archana said...

Now that could not be any more unfortunate...

3:22 AM  
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