Friday, May 20, 2005

Who watches this? I'm sure lots of people do

Some of the TV shows make me wonder about the intellect (or the lack of it) within the common population (which includes people like me). Here's my top five trashy list:

American Idol:

On this we want to pick a singing and dancing dude or dame as our American Idol. He or she's our idol because we voted on their abilities to sing on stage and dance away. That's pretty much what you need to be able to do in order to get idolized. Wait ... American Idol is the politically correct name. The real name of the show was "Incompetent Jobless Winner from the Mentally Challenged Masses". Producers didn't like that name very much. The mentally challenged masses wouldn't accept the show. American Idol sounds way better. Good choice!


Continuing the American tradition, we're going to generate more fictitious jobs since the real ones are going overseas. In this show, ten or so idiots happily eat bugs, trees or even each other's brains in order to show their ability to survive. Umm.. never mind the fact that there's really no practical implication of what they're doing but hey it's a million bucks at stake. Why bother doing something useful for mankind when you could be on TV being mean to your fellow humans and plotting to vote them off the planet. Sounds very character building..... The real name of the show is "I've got nothing better to do so I better go back to being a prehistoric ape living in the jungle". Again, the show's target audience wouldn't be able to keep up with the long name there. Good choice of name once more!

The Apprentice:

Ah ... more jobs. This economy just keeps generating jobs out of thin air. How brilliant is that. So on this show, we're going to pick out the nastiest, meanest and most cunning person and reward them for having those noble attributes. Also, they will be employed at a very high position in a corporate environment so that they can lead others to be like them - cooperative, team-spirited and of course looking out for the well-being of others. On the other hand, if I had the kind of money that Donald Trump has, maybe I would've done the same --- not really. Can you ever imagine Bill Gates having a show where you should push and shove each other off the cliff until only one software developer is standing. Nope...he's educated. Oh wait -- educated people aren't sellable spicy TV stuff.

Jerry Springer Show:

Really not much to say here except that the name "TV Show for losers of Survivor and Apprentice" wasn't selling very well. So they called it Jerry Springer show.

So here's the bottomline:

Can you sing or dance at all? No? Oooooh too bad .. we could've put you on American Idol where people would idolize you for having a voice or synchronized feet. Brain matter isn't a pre-requisite. All you need is one music album anyway.

Can you be mean to others and climb up the ladder real quick (within weeks) at the cost of others? No ? Well that sucks cos you could've been on Survivor and if you didn't want to be naked, then we could've put you on Apperentice.

Can you at least fight with your own family members and be mean to them publicly so you can be on Jerry Springer? What? No ? Well what good are you then? Go back to your desk job ... loser!!!

So you see, for people with more than three neurons, it might be worthwhile to distinguish themselves from the other "survivors" or "apparentices" that are hoping to someday be "american idols". I'm so glad I got an education and actually do something respectable that doesn't involve morons voting on my cha-cha. Ah the peace of mind!


Blogger Archana said...

The show American Idol reached India too. They created yet another idol thing- "Indian Idol"....heard of Abhijeet Sawant?
I dont understand why they call it a'reality show'....there are many of these springing up in India.

7:58 AM  
Blogger Sheeshers said...

That's because we are the TRUE descendants of apes. We love to copy everything that we think is cool and we go with it. I remember I was in Bombay and the first McDonalds had opened. There were lines till two blocks away to eat at McDonalds. Not because they had heard the food was awesome, but because it was "American" and therefore cool.

11:57 AM  
Blogger Archana said...

"I'm so glad I got an education and actually do something respectable that doesn't involve morons voting on my cha-cha. Ah the peace of mind!"
If they are happy with what they are doing.....then so be it! Nothing is disrespectable....?
But I agree with WE Indians being apes. There's even a training centre in Bangalore where they teach one how to speak English with an American accent!! How weird is that?!

4:13 PM  
Blogger Sheeshers said...

I'm quite polarized that way and do see some things as respectable and others as not. In that sense you can call me old fashioned probably.

7:56 PM  
Blogger Denise said...

I was watching (oops) a show this evening that had me thinking the same thing. It was called "I want a famous face". It is another of those plastic surgeon's dream shows where people cut themselves up into little pieces and try to put the pieces back together so that they look like Brad Pitt. Go figure. What is this world coming to?

1:29 AM  

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