Wednesday, June 01, 2005

I have artificial intelligence

It all started about a week ago when I was innocently chewing gum. Not that there is some other evil way of chewing gum but the word "innocently" is supposed to emphasize on the suddenness of this incident.
Suddenly, I felt a big CRUNCH in my mouth. Now, ordinarily, you don't expect that sound from chewing Hubba Bubba Original Bubble gum which is as straight as gum gets. Naturally, I sent my tongue on a reconnaisance mission to zoom off to the back of my mouth and check out the suspicious activity. The recon mission pulled out what was apparently a piece of my tooth. Aargh!!! I was losing teeth just by chewing gum. This is bad bad bad. So the next step was to pick up my nearest phone and dial 911-DENTIST. The receptionist shouts into my ear, "You are overdue for a cleaning and cavity work. It has been over six months blah blah blah...". Yes ma'am I believe I just got a grim reminder of that. I am overdue for some serious cavity work. The earliest appointment I could manage was this morning at 8 am.
So there I was at the dentist this morning, the first patient and the most eager one they've ever seen in a while. I didn't tell them the chewing gum incident to avoid any snickering by the already sneering old receptionist lady. Old receptionist ladies have underground networks and news travels fast. I wanted to play safe. The first part was cleaning, which went relatively smooth. I was trying to create as good an impression as possible on this girl who was staring into my mouth and checking out the broken tooth which needed desperately repaired. Somehow I think you can never get a date while getting your teeth fixed at the dental office. Women there know exactly what they're getting into (literally speaking), if things proceed ahead that is. Anyway, I didn't have that issue since I'm happily married and my lady has no choice but to live with a toothless hag.
The doc came in after the cleaning and looked very determined and challenged by this cavity of mine. He revealed to me that the tooth that had decayed and thus chipped off a bit was my wisdom tooth. Most of it was still there but will need cleaning and then shall be filled. Sounds good, please proceed. He gave me enough novacaine to numb my entire right side of the mouth so that he could laugh at my drooling speech attempts while working on my wisdom tooth. This is how he makes his job entertaining. The next two hours were followed by some serious drilling and shaping. Apparently, the wisdom tooth is harder to tackle since it comes last in the jaw line. The ever so determined dentist finally managed size the tooth down to his requirements and proceeded to fill it with white stuff that is supposed to stay on for another 10 years at least. I said, "Since you've taken off so much of my wisdom, I shall sue you if my career heads south from today onwards". His reply, "Ha ha ...so basically you're half as intelligent as you were before you came here". My thought, "Ha ha...so basically you're saying I'm twice as dumb as I was before I got here. Why do I pay for this?".
Anyway, my mouth feels better, the teeth sound happy (clack clack) and because my wisdom tooth is now filled with dense silicates, I have, what you may call , artificial intelligence? Hmm... pondering over this lame joke. Please hold.....

5 Comments:

Blogger book_worm said...

very well authored. Good job!!

11:49 AM  
Blogger Will said...

oh man, I hate that crunch. There is nothing quite like it to send shivers into your knee caps. It has made your blogging very playful thought. Cool by-product.

3:39 PM  
Blogger BloggingSheHobbit said...

No comment on the lack of going to the dentist as I haven't been in over 6 months either. *Embarrassment* I had to have my wisdom teeth out years ago, both bottom ones started growing in & got impacted which was very painful. I couldn't afford to sleep thru it either, too expensive, just novocaine & gas. Then they broke an instrument trying to chisel out one of teeth.

6:59 PM  
Blogger Archana said...

woah...I'm impressed! First tOOth removed AI? Fed on too many chocolates as a little boy? I've had four of them removed and was replaced by nothing. There wasnt much of space for them to grow,the dentist said. Nowonder I have no intelligence left :(

7:34 PM  
Blogger Denise said...

I asked the dentist that pulled all four of my wisdom teeth, (thus placing me into the scatterbrain category), if he would please give me a "subshcription to the orange liquid...pleesh," as I drooled down my chin. That was...a long time ago.

7:34 PM  

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