Saturday, July 02, 2005

Meet the in-laws ...

I need to blog more often. I used to be really good about it earlier.

Noddy's parents a.k.a. my in-laws, came here to good ol' Dayton from India last Saturday. They brought with them enough stuff for our home that we are soon going to have to buy a second home. Our home looked relatively empty until they showed up. Now I have to find appropriate walls to hang all the exquisite Indian handicrafts that needs to be displayed. It has also been a non-stop food fest since their arrival. My mother-in-law operates a food-on-demand kitchen. I don't know if it's mothers in general but most Indian mothers love to fatten their children with food. I feel like a cow that is marked with a big X on it's back and is being fattened for butchering at some point. Conversation with my loving mother-in-law:

She: Do you want something to eat?

Me: No thanks ... I'm okay

She: How about some watermelon?

Me: No not now ( ... I didn't know watermelon was excluded from edible products)

She: Milk perhaps?

Me: Nope. Thanks. (.... I didn't know milk can be had even if you're full to your throat and have refused food a few seconds ago).

Somehow I cannot imagine having this conversation with my dad. Dads leave their sons to die - if he's hungry he'll ask; stop chasing him - that's their terse instruction to moms. Indian mothers love you to death ... meaning they will kill you by overfeeding you. If I'm genuinely hungry I have to slip an encoded note to Noddy who will then note, in a discrete fashion, that I need food such that my mother-in-law doesn't come to know about it. If she does, I'll get twice the quantity I should be eating, plus something to drink with it along with an offer for more food as needed. It's all in love and I just find it funny, not offensive or irritating. I know where she's coming from so I'm pretty cool about it. It's just funny sometimes.

The in-laws are keeping themselves occupied while Noddy and I are at work. One of our rooms has been completely rearranged and looks totally different - in a good way. The refrigerator got thoroughly cleaned out a couple of days ago. My mother-in-law has requested that I teach her the washing machine instructions and some other machinery around the home. I am hesitant to do that due to job security reasons - she might take over and I'll have nothing to do. Dad-in-law is an exercise fan. He goes for daily walks and does some Yoga. I have charted for him the path to the nearest gas station so that he can get newspaper while fulfilling his walking agenda.

My father-in-law is a lawyer and a damn good one at it. So everytime he wants to argue about something's accuracy or my statement's correctness, he ends up disappointed because I refuse to argue - I just give in. That doesn't stimulate his brain cells too much so he's probably getting really irritated with my lack of confrontation on any particular point. I'm sure he'll get the guinea pigs to argue with him if he loses all hope in me.


Blogger Denise said...

Egyptian mothers-in-law tend to be exactly the same as those from India, evidently. When I was in Egypt, it seemed that all I did was eat when we went to visit. She wasn't content unless she was handing me not one, but TWO bananas, a bowl of fruit or plate of "something". (Always after having dined with the family). I have to admit, though, it is the height of hospitality...something which is lacking in the American way of life. Therefore, I will probably end up being one of THOSE mothers-in-law

6:13 PM  

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